Amusing

A friend shared the following with me recently and I thought it was too good not to share. 

These glorious insults are from an era “before” the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words. Enjoy!

 “He had delusions of adequacy.”  — Walter Kerr

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”   Winston Churchill

 “I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.” — Clarence Darrow

 “He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.” — William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

 “Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.” — Moses Hadas

 “I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” — Mark Twain

 “He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.” — Oscar Wilde

 “I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one. — George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

 “Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second… if there is one.” — Winston Churchill, in response to George Bernard Shaw

 “I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.” — Stephen Bishop

 “He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” — John Bright 

“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.” — Irvin S. Cobb

“He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.” — Samuel Johnson

 “He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.” — Paul Keating

 “In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.” — Charles, Count Talleyrand

 “He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.” — Forrest Tucker

 “Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?” — Mark Twain

 “His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.” — Mae West

 “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” — Oscar Wilde

 “He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts… for support rather than illumination. — Andrew Lang

“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.” — Billy Wilder

“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But I’m afraid this wasn’t it.” Groucho Marx

1 Comment
  1. These quotes are marvelous. 🙂

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